Margarita Mama

Thinking...

I wonder if blogs are the new soaps? I just wonder because in college, I knew lots of women my age who watched soaps, women who were in college, getting a college education. They'd drop everything and watch Days of our Lives or General Hospital. I'm not really in touch with any of them anymore, but the majority of my women friends now are college educated, and stay-at-home or not, I can only think of one of them who tivo's All My Children and watches it at night when her kids are in bed.

Project Runway Rocks Harder

Um, how many MONTHS did they spend in Paris? Did y'all see the previews where Laura's got a big-ass belly? I don't get it, the whole concept of not knowing you are pregnant for months is really beyond my comprehension. Especially a stick like her, didn't her non-existant boobs get bigger? Speaking of pregnant women in 4 inch heels: Did you check out that bi-atch Heidi Klum in her somehow-hot red toga at the Emmys? Why didn't my belly button ever pop out like that? There's a photo of her at www.snarkywood.com and a really good snark on the Emmy's.

Before I comment further on the absolute, complete awesome-ality of this week, I have to say  I found it shitty that they were judging them on the runway for how their outfits looked based on actual air travel. Like they were supposed to get the clue that the jet-setter's clothing were for actual plane travel.  Do famous people travel in their party clothes?

While we're asking philosophical questions: Do famous people travel in their PJ's? Does anyone famous wear black cotton with heathered jersey? Vincent owes both Angela and Kayne sexual favors for making his PJ's look acceptable to the judges. Thank god that freak Angela is gone. She did make one nice thing. But if she's living on a farm in Ohio, how can she expect to be a fashion designer, making clothes for, like, other people to wear? She's a dumb-fuck for putting those flowers on her ass. And pretending she liked her pants wrinkled. I'm not big on ironing either, but I don't sleep in linen and then pretend I wanted it to look that way.

I thought they were really mean to Uli and that her dress was an un-fucking-believeable dream. And probably really comfortable. And if Lily Pulitzer can get away with being known for making clothes that are always a mess of colors, why the hell can't Uli, who has way better taste, do it? I realize I know nothing about high fashion. I always skip that floor at Marshall Fields.

Glad that dickhead Jeffrey won because if Michael had beaten him I promise you that he would have turned around lunged over the work table and straight for Michael's neck. With his teeth. He really needs to work through those anger issues, the jealousy on his face painful. Also, Jeffrey made the best outfit, but Michael is a fucking genius. He made seer-sucker look hip-hop.

Paris, what the fuck can I say! This show rocks. And they got a bigger budget. And I hate them all, even Angela, because they drove through Paris on a gorgeous morning. I think Miguel and I should retire there. Fuck Florida.

Project Runway Rocks

I didn't see the first season, but I have to say that this 3rd season is so far superior to the 2nd. There seem to be a nice group of really innovative designers, instead of 1 or 2. A couple of losers. Don't get the Bradley guy at all. I apparently don't know anything about fashion either because I did not need the build up of Bradley re-doing his outfit over and over to decide that I hated it. I was stunned when he was included with the "best and worst" group and was not on the chopping block.

Keith's arrogance is ridiculous, especially when so many beautiful outfits were made this time around. I agree that he shouldn't have dressed the dog, but he shouldn't have tried to lie his way out of it. His dress was beautiful, but kind of similar to the blue one.

Laura with her dog cracked me up. I'm so with her on the philosophy that having kids makes for  enough helpless beings to take care of. But she was so funny about the way she handled the dog. I don't care whether you love her or hate her for her stance on sweatpants; would anyone disagree with me when I suggest that Laura has probably left a string of traumatized nannies in her wake?

So glad Katherine left. She should have been eliminated for that butt ugly blue bag dress she made in the first episode. How do a comforter and a dress made of bags go together?

Angela sucks. I hope it's her who gets kicked off next week, but I doubt it because they suggest it too much in the previews. So whom else could it be?? The kids are chomping at the bit to find out. I hope it's Vincent or Bonnie, because there's no talent there, and I have no interest in seeing anything from them. Plus Vincent needs to get home and get a job and start building up his 401K again.

Project Runway Dish

I have to spill my thoughts about Project Runway here because I can't make any of these comments to Miguel while watching, because the kids are watching too. They love the show. And Clara's totally going to design clothes when grows up, after she figures out that life as a professional dancer sucks. Watch how the fuck-o-meter rises when I get to my favorite designer on the show.

We watched the first two episodes of PR on Monday night. When Keith won the first challenge, he seemed kind of arrogant, but not out of line. It was a nice dress and his model looked awesome. I thought he was kind of good-looking and interesting because he seems not to be gay. But then on the 2nd episode, when he was pitching his dress to Miss USA, what the hell was up with that "I NEED to see your legs." At first she seemed kind of entranced by him, but by the end of the speech, he was so intrusive, she kind of pulled away from him. I felt like I had witnessed an assault by the end of it. Dude, you are not hot if you spend hours per day in front of the mirror rehearsing your intense "animal magnatism" eyes. Then, if you notice later they are all sitting in front of Heidi and he's giving her the same look. It's so intensely desparate "look into my eyes and melt at my mother-fucking animal magnatism". I feel like the women he looks that way should slap him. I'd really like to see him try the look on that frigid bitch Nina Garcia. She would SO neutralize his ass.

Vincent: Are you fucking kidding me? And you're married? And you cashed in your 401K for this? First 2 dresses, butt-ugly.

Jeffrey: Don't like his stuff. Can't wait until he's voted off because that tatoo around his neck makes me think of decapitation.

Loved Michael's coffee filter dress. How the hell did those 2 who made comforter dresses slip under the radar on Episode 1? I would have thrown them out for being lazy.

I loved how Miss USA was all up in Alison's shit because she didn't even bother to make a sketch for her. I mean Angela. Hate her. What kind of mother-fucking designer doesn't sketch??

Malan: Dude. Maybe it's the way he talks, but he kind of freaked me out with the "I'll show my mother" comment. She sounds like a souless whore, and he should show her. But the way he put it, and on National tv, sounded sinister and dark. I thought he was going to go on and tell us that there was something nasty in the woodshed. Would have been fun to see his neurosis develop on the show. And the whole friend thing was sad. He should totally move to Manhattan. Go get his picture taken with The Ass, take in a few shows. Within a couple of weeks he'd find himself some friends. (BTW, did you know that The Ass is actually a waiter? And he brings the food to the table of unsuspecting diners and then turns around to walk away and they get to see his ass and their food all at once! Yes, I check The Ass everytime it's updated. LOVE IT)

Yo LAURA! You may have nice clothes, but I can't believe that no one's ever had the guts to tell you that even though lip liner can give the illusion of larger lips, the only person it ever worked for was Jack Nickelson when he played the fucking JOKER. (Can't save the photo to my desktop. Check out her bio on the Bravo website. Click on the 5th photo for exhibit A: http://www.bravotv.com/Project_Runway/photos/season/3/designers/Laura_Bennett

Seriously woman, get over yourself. I don't even care what her designs look like because she's a fucking bitch.

Don't get me wrong; I have nothing but admiration for a mom who keeps her shit together and looks great every day. Good for her. But any mother who looks down her nose at my sweatpants is a fucking cunt.  Once you birth babies you join the motherhood sorority and "Thou shalt not judge other mothers unless they are abusing their children." She is so fucking excommunicated. So that means I can make snide comments about her lipstick. And fuck her for the mini-van comment too. What the fuck does she drive her 5 kids around in, a fucking Rolls Royce Hummer?